Ladybugs in Heaven

If you are a mother, no doubt you have heard this statement at some point, "Enjoy it! This will be over before you know it!" When other moms would tell me this, I would think to myself, "It better be!" Nothing in the world could have prepared me for just how hard motherhood would be. Up until 3 a.m. crying right along with my baby, been there. Nursing, while grocery shopping, done that. It seems those first couple of years would never end. Tyler would come home everyday (after being at work for 8 glorious, uninterupted hours) and tell me, "Everyday he's one day older, it will get better." Insert an eye roll from me right here. Young moms live in a perpetual state of "what's next?" We are constantly looking ahead to the next stage of our kid's development: nursing -->rolling over--> teething-->sitting up--> baby food--> crawling-->walking-->talking (kind of) -->getting rid of the pacifier (or a mimi as we call it, and we are still working on this) you get the idea.



And because every one of these stages has it's struggles, a thought enters our minds: "If I can just make it to ______, this will only get so much easier." We mentally live in tomorrow, while simply managing today. We forget to relish the charms of the present, allowing them to be overshadowed by our daily challenges. We, translate, I get so caught up the everyday of life that I forget to stop and take it all in. Then it happens, something that puts it all in perspective.

I was tucking Keller into bed and saying all of our usual night time things. Then he stops and says, "Do you think there are ladybugs in heaven?" I respond, "Ladybugs were God's idea, so I'm sure there are." He said, "Good, because my baby girl (the name he has for his sister) loves ladybugs and I bet it would make her real happy if they were up there when she goes to heaven one day." Oh! Heart be still! That baby boy of mine just makes my heart sing. Gone in an instant were all the memories of the sleepless nights and throw-yourself- on the ground tantrums. I realized I don't want these moments to be over, I want to enjoy them!



It seems at times, my Jesus is lovingly saying, "Kara, don't obsess about tomorrow. Live in this day without worrying about what you'll do or need later. What is good today will be spoiled tomorrow. Enjoy it today, or enjoy it never." Keeping an eye on our kid's tomorrow means we only have one eye on their today. We're missing so much. Our kids are going to grow up, with or without us, and once it's over, it's over. I won't spoil this day for grieving what has passed or longing for what has not yet come. I will notice how Keller always wants me to do our secret handshake when I drop him off for school, I will pay attention to the way Presley hangs on for a little bit longer to our good morning hug. I will look my kids in the eye and listen to what they are saying , or in Presley's case, trying to say, and I will try to give a real, genuine response. I will still go into their rooms at night and tuck them in a little tighter and push their hair behind their ears.



You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow, they'll be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Breathe and notice. Smell and touch them; study their sweet little faces. Relish the charms of the present.



Enjoy today, mama. It will be over before you know it.