My Empty Nest

Lately I've been pretty emotional. Recently I had full-blown, tears down the face cry about Keller going to college. I don't want to think about his empty room, or how I'll miss my sweet boy getting dressed from head to toe in his baseball uniform just to play catch with his dad in the back yard. Keller makes us laugh a 100 times a day. Pretending to act normal with such an integral part of our family gone just doesn't make sense. All I can think about is my chubby little boy reaching for me from his crib or the way he makes sure he tells me he loves me everyday. I can't stand the idea of giving him up. He's not ready for college. Will he ever call me? Will he really tell me what he's doing (I know I didn't!) What he if needs me and I can't get there. These things played in my mind over and over until finally Tyler asked me what was wrong.

Tyler: "What's wrong?"

Me: "I'm so depressed."

Tyler: "Why? What happened?"

Me: "Keller is going to grow up and go to college and I am going to miss him so much I can't stand it!"

Tyler: (long pause) He's five! Why are you already getting upset about that?!"

Me: "It's going to be here sooner than you think! (Insert more crying here)

There is something so precious, so wonderful about the "raising children" years. I live with a constant awareness that this is it. We have this short season with them, and it truly flys by. Although these years are few, they are also critical. The years our kids spend in our homes will determine who they will become. Our kids are moldable and impressionable, they are forming their opinions of the world and developing habits. In fact the human brain isn't fully developed until late adolescence, and in the case of males sometimes not until early childhood (big surprise there ;)

This is actually really good news for moms. Our children will never as teachable as they are right now. In the future, habits will be much harder to break and opinions will be entrenched. If you read nothing else on this page read this: Spiritual sensitivity is at an all time high. 85% of all believers choose Jesus before the age of 14. After that window, only 15 % are flexible enough in their beleifs to make room for Christ. Honey! We have to do something about this!

Right now, our kids are like clay in our hands. We are their (or should be) their #1 influence until they turn into stinky teenagers. They are teachable, adaptable and flexible. Take comfort in this: their first reaction isn't suspicion or skepticism, and faith will never come more easily. Apparently this has always been true:

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child and had him stand among them. And He said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 18:1-4

Listen to this. Just because Jesus wasn't a dad doesn't mean he didn't fully understand children. Don't you love his answer? It's so like Jesus to pull a child into the circle and say, "Here. Be like this kid or you'll never be great in my world."

Humble,simple, moldable, dependent-children are so much closer to the kingdom than you and me. They are black pages, unscripted and receptive. Two reasons to celebrate:

1. We haven't messed them up yet! (Don't worry there is still time)
2. Disciplining our kids and introducing them to Jesus will never be easier.

They are hanging on your every word mama! They accept what you tell them. They are humble enough to believe in a Savior who walked on water and knew their sweet, little faces before they were born. A child who falls in love with Jesus- his character, not just His rules, is likely to stay the course the rest of his or her life.

Are you looking for a place for you and your child to get plugged into? I know a great one. Join me at Antioch Christian Church, 4040 Maple.

Introducing your child to Jesus, is the best gift you could ever give them. I can guarantee it.

"Train your child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

For Better.... And a Lot Worse

I was recently talking to one of my very good friends about our kids, our jobs and life in general. And though I hate to admit it, the conversation quickly turned "gossipy." We didn't intend to do this..it just sorta happened. My friend went on to tell me about another marriage threatened by infidelity. I want to say I was surprised, but sadly I was not. I can get on facebook any given time of the day and literally see which of my "friends" marriages are failing. So that got me thinking, "Why is marriage so disposable?" What makes a young couple give up so easily. Then I think about the kids. Parents surely think of their kids when chaos is running wild in their home...or do they. Being a Children's Director for a church I see more than my fair share of kids being affected by a less than perfect home life. The majority of kids in my program come from broken homes and have to divide their time between mom and dad. It's an epidemic. It's sad. It needs to end.

Let me clear about something. My marriage is not perfect, in fact it's far from it. Marriage is way harder than I ever dreamed. It takes constant work. Just yesterday I told Tyler, "You are getting on every single nerve I have!" He responded with, "Ditto." On the flip side, I love that man to pieces. Even when I'm at my worst (which is hardly ever, wink wink) he still loves me. He still shows me grace. He forgives me. Being married means being a united front. And of course, like He always does, Jesus spoke to me through His word:

"Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand."

Matthew 12:25

Outside forces are less of a threat for most families. They usually crumble from the inside out. A civil war raging in the home leaves more casualties than an outside attack. When God said two become one in marriage, it means will literally injure our own flesh when we tear down our partner. When I stab at Tyler's dignity, I may as well cut off my own arm. This is why fighting hurts so badly: when I injure Tyler, I do it at the sake of my own soul. And let's not forget the most important factor: Our kids. We become so blinded by selfishness that will fail to see how a jaded marriage affects them. It's easier to write it off: "They don't know what's going on." "They're too little." "They're not listening." A house divided against itself will fall. It will crush everyone taking refuge under it's shelter.

Do you want to be the mom of your kids' dreams? Want to give them security, health, stability and happiness? I know how....

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND!!!

Love him so much it's almost embarrassing. Kiss him, hug him. Talk about him to your kids as if your heart would die without him. Don't let issues fester until they are ready to explode. Have sex with him (this alone would solve most of his problems :)Tell your kids their daddy is a hero and they are so lucky they belong to him. Be his #1 fan. The best gift for your kids is parents who are crazy for each other. (Did I mention have sex with him?)

No matter what war is raging in your home right now: infidelity, addiction, financial issues, the list goes on.....

Bring them to Jesus. Don't give up my sweet friends. Love each other well and your house will stand.

Losing Me

There is a "me" buried somewhere under "mom" but I am struggling to find her. Have you ever been there? I can't tell you how many times I've been introduced as "Keller's mom."

The role of a young mother is so consuming it threatens to eclipse every other title we have: wife, friend,sister,daughter, professional, woman. That's just the way it is. I feel like I am in one of the most demanding seasons of parenting and no amount of fussing (on my part) is going to change that. The purpose of my blogging was to let young moms know that they could have it all. But to assume that our other roles should receive the same percentage of our energy as young motherhood is unrealistic.

However, I am slowly learning that no one role can take all you without some sacrifice of the others. When we make our children the center of our universe, we do so at the expense of our other relationships. We will fall out of touch with our husbands, our friends and ourselves when our kids consume everything. So leave it to Jesus to give me a wake up call while I was reading His Word a few days ago. He made a rather shocking statement about relational priorities as He sent His disciples out to minister:

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

Matthew 10:37

Dang! If you picture Jesus sitting in the grass petting kittens and lambs, you must have not read the Gospels. This scripture was a big, "Hello, Kara! You have to love me more!" There was a truth that Jesus was getting at that should resonate with us, moms. Here it is: There is a you that exists only in Jesus, and that identify far outweighs those found in other roles. The central makeup of you- your gifts, your passions, talents, personality, purpose-all of those were woven into your DNA before time began.

Before you were a daughter, sister, a wife or mother, you belonged to God. You were His idea. That statement alone makes my heart sing.

You'll be His daughter after your parents and kids are gone. You have a purpose outside your husband's. When you stand before Jesus one day, it won't be as someones mom or wife, or as your parent's daughter. It will just be as you.

Jesus is warning us to not allow our other relationships to get in the way of our own identity. He didn't say, "Don't love your kids or your parents or your husband." He said, "Don't love them more than me." Let me tell you something: If we keep this straight, if Jesus received all of our heart, we'd never lose our self again. How could we?

Jesus would never let us forget our gifts and passions; He put them there!

We would have a grip on reality and we would be less likely to get distracted. We would remain attached to the source of strength and peace.

If we loved Jesus more than anyone else, we would be the best possible mothers, the wives of husbands' dreams. We would maintain our sparkle, our flair, our laughter. The "you" buried under "mom" is vital, essential, important. Hang on to her. Make sure she gets plenty of face time with Jesus. He'll remind her who she is.

So here is my question to you. Are you lost? Which relationship has suffered most from your absence? I would love to hear your response and talk with you more. Shoot me an email: karastribling@yahoo.com or comment on here.

You are loved, my sisters and brothers in Christ.

Kara

Ladybugs in Heaven

If you are a mother, no doubt you have heard this statement at some point, "Enjoy it! This will be over before you know it!" When other moms would tell me this, I would think to myself, "It better be!" Nothing in the world could have prepared me for just how hard motherhood would be. Up until 3 a.m. crying right along with my baby, been there. Nursing, while grocery shopping, done that. It seems those first couple of years would never end. Tyler would come home everyday (after being at work for 8 glorious, uninterupted hours) and tell me, "Everyday he's one day older, it will get better." Insert an eye roll from me right here. Young moms live in a perpetual state of "what's next?" We are constantly looking ahead to the next stage of our kid's development: nursing -->rolling over--> teething-->sitting up--> baby food--> crawling-->walking-->talking (kind of) -->getting rid of the pacifier (or a mimi as we call it, and we are still working on this) you get the idea.



And because every one of these stages has it's struggles, a thought enters our minds: "If I can just make it to ______, this will only get so much easier." We mentally live in tomorrow, while simply managing today. We forget to relish the charms of the present, allowing them to be overshadowed by our daily challenges. We, translate, I get so caught up the everyday of life that I forget to stop and take it all in. Then it happens, something that puts it all in perspective.

I was tucking Keller into bed and saying all of our usual night time things. Then he stops and says, "Do you think there are ladybugs in heaven?" I respond, "Ladybugs were God's idea, so I'm sure there are." He said, "Good, because my baby girl (the name he has for his sister) loves ladybugs and I bet it would make her real happy if they were up there when she goes to heaven one day." Oh! Heart be still! That baby boy of mine just makes my heart sing. Gone in an instant were all the memories of the sleepless nights and throw-yourself- on the ground tantrums. I realized I don't want these moments to be over, I want to enjoy them!



It seems at times, my Jesus is lovingly saying, "Kara, don't obsess about tomorrow. Live in this day without worrying about what you'll do or need later. What is good today will be spoiled tomorrow. Enjoy it today, or enjoy it never." Keeping an eye on our kid's tomorrow means we only have one eye on their today. We're missing so much. Our kids are going to grow up, with or without us, and once it's over, it's over. I won't spoil this day for grieving what has passed or longing for what has not yet come. I will notice how Keller always wants me to do our secret handshake when I drop him off for school, I will pay attention to the way Presley hangs on for a little bit longer to our good morning hug. I will look my kids in the eye and listen to what they are saying , or in Presley's case, trying to say, and I will try to give a real, genuine response. I will still go into their rooms at night and tuck them in a little tighter and push their hair behind their ears.



You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow, they'll be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Breathe and notice. Smell and touch them; study their sweet little faces. Relish the charms of the present.



Enjoy today, mama. It will be over before you know it.

Fall is here...Hip, Hip, Horray!

Isn't my house beautiful? I can only dream about living somewhere like this for now. But I can imagine heaven being pretty close to this. Oh! It takes my breath away! Today is the first official day of Fall and that makes this mama very happy. The air is turning and getting a bit cooler, and the leaves have just started their intial descent to the ground. If I had to pick one season I loved the most, Fall would get my vote eveytime. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas time but that is so magical in itself and gets enough attention. So, let's "fall" right in to the top 5 reasons I love this yummy season...

1.) My own little pumpkins:

Having kids gives you the greatest excuse to act like one yourself. I love when the weather starts to get a little brisk and we can take evening walks around the neighborhood. We like to look for the trees with the prettiest leaves and take in the smells around us. It also means getting to dress them in the cutest little outfits. Don't believe me? Wait till you see my Presley in a pea coat and suede boots! I also love the nights we spend at Mamsie & Big Daddy's Shack, carving pumpkins at eating yummy food (more about this later)

2.) The Clothes:

I can only handle shorts and sleeveless shirts for so long. Give me a roomy sweater and a pair of leggings any day. I totally believe I live in the wrong part of the country when it comes to my obesssion for fall clothing. A few months before the season starts, the favorites page on my computer is inundated with websites showcasing their new fall lines. I started this obsessionwith ankle boots last season, and that obsession has only gotten worse. I've been coveting this pair of buttery leather ankle boots for a few weeks now, but I have to justify spending that much money on them. So, Tyler if you are reading this, I totally wouldn't care if you decided to make that happen!

3.) The Shack:

Mamsie & Big Daddy (Tyler's parents) have the coolest "Shack In the Back". We call it that because it's literally at the back of their house. But to call it a shack, doesn't let it live up to it's full potetnial. First off, it's not a shack at all, but probably as big as my whole house. I love it there because it's so comfy and homey. The Shack is the gathering place for all things good. Every birthday, holiday, football game or just dinner is shared out in the shack. It's also where we get to carve pumpkins ever year for Big Daddy's birthday. My "other mom" always makes us feel warm and welcomed. She is also a fabuous cook and always has the yummiest things prepeared. Her caramel apples are to- die- for! I look forward to those every year. I love that we have a place to gather and enjoy great food and each other's company.

4.) The Food

I had to include food! C'mon, it might be the best thing about fall. Yesterday it was cloudy and drizzly, a perfect day for soup. I love the soup mixes from a little mom and pop shop called Company's Comin. They are at Merry Marketplace every year and this time I was lucky enough to catch them at the fair last week. All their soups and casseroles are delish, but the New Mexico Green Chile soup is the yummiest ever. Nothing beats a bowl of hot soup and a fall day. For more info and to purchase their soups head over to : http://www.companyscomin.com/.

During the summer it is too stinking hot to be slaving over the stove and having your oven on all day, but fall is the perfect excuse to bust out the mixer and bowls and whip something magical up. I look forward to the weather turning because that means dad's chili and mom's jalepeno corn casserole. Two things that are the ultimate comfort food.

5.) The Wedding

A wedding you say? This one I had to throw in there. No, I don't love fall because of the weddings that take place during this time, but THIS year I do. My sister/best friend...ever, is getting married! Oh happy day! Though it is bittersweet (more about this in a future post) I am busting at the seams with excitement. A wedding during the fall means all sorts of wonderful things. Costume parties & get togethers with old freinds and family are two things that come to mind. Though (much to my dismay) Kelsey and Seth decided on a more modern color scheme, and not fall colors I guess I'll still be in the wedding :) They are getting married on November 27th, the weekend of Thanksgiving. Needless to say we will all be super busy getting these two hitched. I am so excited for them and the wedding is going to fabulous. Next fall I will have to pick another reason, but for this year, this had to be included. I can't wait. Go check out their awesome wedding website at : http://www.kelsandseth.weddingwindow.com/

I hope you enjoyed all the silly reasons I love this fabulous season. I pray that your season is blessed with abundance. Thanks for reading ya'll!

Kara

Is there a two for one special on therapy for kids?

Who knew that parenting would be this hard? Who knew there would be ten thousand details to keep up with all day, every day (including, "Mommy have you seen that little, plastic guy that I got at Wal-Mart 3 years ago?") Who knew there was a mommy competition we were automatically entered into the day we gave birth? And yes, if you gave birth by C-Section YOU CERTAINLY GAVE BIRTH! I had a"friend" tell me one time that it didn't count as actual childbirth because my baby was born via C-Section. Umm, hello! Have you seen what a C-Section entails? Moving on, who knew how frequently we would fail our kids? Or how much they would hurt? Who knew we would constantly worry our kids would end up on the therapy couch?



OK, I admit I don't always worry about that, but I do wonder if I will ever be enough as a mom. Then I read this verse in Matthew 10:25, : "It is enough for the student to be like his teacher."

When the student (that's us) becomes like her teacher (Jesus) our failures and reservations as moms take the back burner as the sweet spirit of Jesus covers us. Our kids won't remember every paper we forgot to sign, how we didn't tie their shoes just right, or that we fed them hot dogs every night (guilty!) They will forget how we blew off bath time because mommy and daddy were too tired and how we begged them to watch Dora the Explorer for 30 minutes of silence. What they will remember is how we prayed with them and how we listened to their dreams and fears, no matter how ridiculous they might be. ("No, Keller I promise the fence outside the window does not turn into fingers that want to grab you.") That won't forget how we took care of them or someone else when they were hurting. They will remember how quickly we were to laugh, but slow to judge. They will recall how wildly we loved them with every fiber of our being.



The right schools, the right teams, the right house... not enough.

Perfect systems, by-the- book methods, unsolicited advice... not enough.



It is enough for me to show patience when I want to stick my fingers in my ears and scream right along with my two year old. It is enough to choose mercy when my kids have made the same mistake once again. It is enough to imitate my Christ, who never jumped through hoops, but transformed history through grace and sacrifice. You are enough as a mother when you act like your Redeemer. When you talk like He talked, love like He loved, forgive like he forgave and teach like He taught. When you launch your children into this big, exciting, wonderful world, that is all that will matter. It is what they will remember and imitate.



It is enough.

Happy 5th Birthday Keller!

I still can't believe that Keller is five years old. Tyler and I are just so darn proud that we kept something alive that long! It has been an exciting, tumultuous, frustrating, incredible five years. We love that God chose us to be his parents. He is so full of life and energy, his sweet words and sharp mind never cease to amaze us. One of my favorites websites is http://www.birthverse.com/. You can go here and put in your birth date and find out what verse from the bible corresponds with it. I love that God has a purpose for us all and I love Keller's birth verse: "Those He predestined, He also called; those He called; He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified." Romans 8:30. Our son was not a random baby born to two naive, young parents, but an incredible bundle of talents and abilities. This post is dedicated to Keller Zane Stribling. We love you sweet boy!

Now, sit back, relax and enjoy some pics from "The Greatest Show On Earth!"

Welcome to Keller's 5th Birthday Circus!

Some big boys never grow up!
I loved this sign, it even lit up!

Rylee enjoying a lollipop, love this picture!
Getting ready to dig into all the presents.

OK, Maybe mommies, aunts and uncles never grow up too...

You've gotta have popcorn at the circus


Make way for the animals!


Of course, no circus is complete without trapeze artists!

Thanks for looking, I hope you enjoyed the circus party as much as we did.